If a good man is hard to find
maybe you're not looking in the right places
Case in point: A few years ago, my brother married a lovely woman who was widowed when her husband was killed in a car crash—a crash that two of her young girls survived. My brother and his wife have since had four new babies, making ten total between the two of them, including sweet Rosebud, who has Down Syndrome and has stolen the hearts of everyone in the house.
Some years ago, while my brother and sister-in-law went out for the evening, I babysat my new nieces and their newborn sister. We had a wonderful evening getting to know one another better and after endless games of Crazy 8’s and an impromptu performance by the girls of Amazing Grace, they went to bed without the least fuss. But a few minutes later, I heard footsteps coming through the kitchen—they reappeared in their jammies.
“Would you bless us?” they asked. My brother always blesses them before bed and they didn’t want to go to sleep without it. He uses the prayer of Aaron—May God bless you and keep you, let his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May God look upon you kindly and give you peace. I didn’t remember it off of the top of my head, so I suggested they bless one another and I would witness. I watched as these precious souls offered a benediction, making the sign of the cross on her sister’s forehead as she did so, followed by a big hug. And back to bed they went, with their father’s blessing.
Case in point 2: There’s a parish nearby where I often attend daily Mass in the late afternoon. Arriving early one day, I sat in my car to return phone calls and while there, this scene unfolded before me. A colleague and friend of mine, father to seven, approached the playground adjacent to the church with his happy, rambunctious brood in tow. As they passed by the front entrance to the church, my friend and each of his young children paused to genuflect and make the sign of the cross—the boys dutifully removing their caps as they did so. Then off to the playground they went, following their father’s blessing.
In recent years we’ve suffered under the blight of corrupt, immoral men, the rich and famous, musicians and actors and entrepreneurs arrested and charged with heinous violations against the human person. Every day it seems, the news uncovers some long-hidden, grotesque offense by someone unexpected. A senator from my home state resigned a few years ago under a cloud of photographed impropriety. He boldly proclaimed later that he didn’t really care. Terrific. That’s an attitude I want in congress.
It is of course just and necessary to bring these things into the light. I hope that ultimately exposing this corruption is healing. I was relieved myself, when years ago, police went to arrest a man that had assaulted me and found that he had institutionalized himself. I get it. By all means, bring it into the light. Name your abuse and your abuser. But don’t stop there.
I wonder if the greater opportunity here is to be reminded of millennia-old church teaching on the dignity of the human person and what it means to flourish as a man or woman; to remember the price the Church has paid to continue to teach about the value of all life and the proper ordering of human sexuality; and the importance of a radical and real forgiveness to be offered to all who will sincerely ask for it. That’s where lasting healing and restoration truly lives.
And in the meantime, keep your eyes peeled for the good men all around you, faithful, steadfast, kneeling before holiness while blessing their children and the world.
Heavenly Father, let me celebrate goodness and blessing, virtue and innocence, and the genius of a good man when it approaches and kneels before you before my very eyes.
Liz Kelly is a jazz singer who met Jesus in late-night adoration. She is the community leader for women’s formation at the Word on Fire Institute and the author of more than a dozen award-winning books, including Jesus Approaches, Love Like a Saint, and A Thrill of Hope. Her take home retreat for Jesus Approaches has been called “a spa for the soul.” She holds advanced degrees in creative writing and Catholic studies. She is trained as a spiritual director, leading retreats and speaking around the world with a particular focus on helping women to flourish in their faith. Visit her website at LizK.org or follow her on Instagram at LizKToday.